This Season of Motherhood Part III

Hello again, friends!

Since large and important things in my life have….shifted, I thought I would write another Season of Motherhood post because holy mother of pearl, I need to document this time in my life. It’s hard and difficult and stressful. And hard and difficult and stressful. Probably the most insane thing I’ve ever had to live through.

If you have read the post about us moving to NYC, then you will also know that my husband is at training for his job (meaning he’s not home) and our home in Idaho is currently for sale:

Our home has been on the market 3 1/2 weeks and we’ve had a lot of showings but no offers.

This means I’ve been running around like a crazy person, trying to clean our 3300 square foot house with three monsters children making messes wherever they go. Tornados, they are.

On average, I have to clean everything top to bottom 3 times a week because that’s about how many showings we have.

But Lauren, doesn’t your house stay clean from the last time you cleaned it?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

I’ll pretend you didn’t ask that.

I have THREE children who are no respecters of a clean house.

They are very good at cleaning their own rooms and putting toys away in drawers, but when it comes to not spitting toothpaste everywhere, well, they haven’t mastered that skill yet.

Did I mention Eddie has discovered the toilet paper rolls? He’s unrolled two entire rolls and two rolls half of the way (because I caught him in the act!) in the LAST 5 DAYS. He is a little too mischievous for his own good.

I’m trying to teach my children that we have to close any and all doors, but apparently they’ve tuned out my voice.

Now, before you think I’m totally crazy, I did hire a house cleaner twice in the last three weeks because I can’t.even.deal some days.

I’d hire her more, but she has other clients and I’d like to still be able to afford food.

Remember when my husband was around and I could look into his eyes/at his big muscles? Those were simpler times…

My realtor is a nice man. He helped us buy this house last year! He is very good at his job but I swear, one more text about a last minute showing and I will murder him in the night.

Showings = cleaning = kill me.

Oh, and because the universe hates me even more, Eddie has become super clingy and won’t let me put him down/hand him off to anyone.

Single-handed sweeping, mopping, scrubbing, folding, windexing, organizing is all ineffective, incase you were wondering.

I may or may not have buckled all three children into our van (more than once throughout this whole process) and turned on a movie so I could finish cleaning the things they kept messing up. #breakingpoint

I’ve gotten to the point where I almost don’t care if the house is clean anymore. Buyers will just have to look through the ‘general house filth’ to see the floor plan.

Yesterday I was talking complaining to Gordon about this part of the selling process. It sucks, dude. And he gets to sleep 7-10 hours a night, uninterrupted. That has nothing to do with selling the house, but I thought it appropriate to mention.

So, basically the moral of the story is I need to hibernate and we absolutely need someone to buy our house before I literally lose my marbles.

On the bright side, I’ve lost 10 pounds. Turns out I’m not a stress eater…I just don’t eat.

Someone mentioned to me that I should write a post about my weight loss success, but that would be a short post:

Have three kids. Send your husband to a far away place for three months. Put your house on the market to sell but don’t actually sell it. Get a really bad cold during this whole process. Get super busy so you don’t have time to eat. Set your alarm to wake you up in the night 2 to 5 times per night because: children.

Congratulations! You’ve lost 10 pounds.

I wouldn’t recommend this method, by the way.

Friends: send me all of your prayers, happy thoughts and good juju for getting my house sold. Or, just pool your money together and buy it yourself. Haven’t you’ve always wanted to live in Idaho? Surely you have 😉

Anyways, hope you all have a wonderful Easter weekend! I will be here in my house…waiting for it to sell.

 

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  1. Hang in there Lauren….I won’t throw any bologna at you about it getting better and how it’s worth it. It sounds like it’s just sucking right now. The GOOD NEWS is it can’t suck forever and you have all of us in Team Lauren sending our positive prayers and love.

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  2. What a nice family picture. Thanks for the Chocolate crisp granola recipe.
    I have a no bake pie recipe I can share with you.

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  3. I love your posts. I wish I lived next door. I would attempt to help you or maybe just laugh and cry with you. I had 6 children in 10 yrs. , but I didn’t attempt a move to York City. My husband was born in the house we live in. Needless to say, I should at least move to the front lawn and start over again ! Life is a challenge, but this too will pass and new challenges will come.Just hang on and enjoy this glorious journey !!!!!!!!!!

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  4. I am so sorry to hear that you are having such hard times. I really hope your house sells really quickly so you can have some rest. Hi from Costa Rica ☺

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  5. I remember keeping our house spotless when it was on the market was no fun. But I did love having it clean all the time. I actually told myself I would keep the new house that way (eye roll).

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  6. You make me tired with everything you have going on! You are superwoman!! You do it all with such humor and grace, the world needsmore people like you!

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